Responsibility

Responsibility.

Some are born with it.
Some are not.
And they never take it upon themselves.

We're 6 siblings.
Some live closer, some are far away.
Some have large families to take care of, some have smaller.
Some are right before / after childbirth, asome are not (the males... :-) ).

5 are evolved with caring for our parents, in various degrees.
1 is not.
Well, not quite not at all, but he doesn't take any initiative to do things, if he is not implicitly required.

Will he ever grow up?

Sleeping pills don't work

Started several weeks ago.

I got a phone call from dad's caregiver, John.

'We have a little problem; Dad isn't sleeping well at night'.

Turns out that he goes to sleep early (he always did, but not so early), wakes up several hours later to go to the bathroom.
Then John 'puts' him back to bed. (i.e. physically put's him back into bed. Dad lost his coordination, and can't get back into bed alone. Dad is not lightweight, and that doesn't make it an easy task.)

[And here the action starts:]

5 minutes later, dad is still lying in bed awake, and can't remember if he's already gone to the bathroom or not.
Dad get's out of bed.
'What do you want, dad?'
'I want to go to the bath room'.
'You just went to the bathroom'.
'I did?'
'Yes, you did'.
'OK. Then I guess I want to go back to bed'.

John physically put's dad back in bed.

5 minutes later, and dad is out of bed again.
'What do you want, dad?'
'I want to go back to bed'.
John physically put's dad back in bed.

5 minutes later...

you get the idea.

We already tried 3 types of sleeping pills. Either with no efect, or with opposite effect (they arouse dad...).

John collapsed.

We've been taking turn leaving our families for the night, and sleeping (or to be more accurate - not sleeping) in dad's place.

We're anxiously awaiting to see an Alzheimer specialist in several days.
John said he's counting the days (or is he counting the nights?) until the doctors appointment.

What's wrong with me?

Some of dad's latest quotes;

• "I find myself continuously having to prove to everyone that I'm normal".
• "Why do I need a caregiver? I can manage perfectly well without one".

I don't believe a single word

After visiting my dad the last time, I realized that there is a limit to how much shopping can John (the caregiver) do.

So, I went to my parents neighborhood, entered the local supermarket, and started walking around the store, trying to think what is needed and/or could be of use in my parents home.
I managed to fill a decent size shopping cart.

I checked out, paid, and had the goods delivered to my dad's home.

The shipment was supposed to arrive 4:00 PM, but arrived only 7:45, several minutes after arrived, to spend the night next to dad.

Dad heard the noise coming from the kitchen, as John & my brother were putting the goods away.

'What's going on?'

'I went shopping, and the delivery just arrived' I replied.

'I don't believe it.'

'Come,dad, You want to see for your own? Let's go to the kitchen, and I'll show you'.

I then dragged dad to the kitchen.

'What's going on?' he repeated.

'I went shopping, and the delivery just arrived' I replied. 'John and Kim are putting the goods away'.

'I don't believe a single word' was all that dad said.

to take dad, or not to take?

This Shabbat is my nephew's Bar-Mitzvah.

We've been planning this for a long time (almost 13 years...).

We've been planning the logistics of taking my parents for the past few months.
We kind of have it worked out.

But now someone raised the idea of not bringing dad along at all.

'He won't understand what's going on'.

'He won't remember there ever was supposed to a Bar-Mitzvah'.

I disagree.

Dad, as much as he doesn't understand and doesn't remember, he still has flashes of clarity.

If he does have a clarity flash, he'll be utterly insulted. And rightfully so.

True, it's tough on us, but I don't think we have a right to deny him of participating in a family simcha.

Who am I?

I came to visit my dad yesterday.

He was sitting on his bed in the bedroom, and heard someone enter.

'Who came?', he asked his caregiver.

'It's Abe', he answered.

'Who's Abe?' he asked...